Centering

I know I said that I was going to continue to write about Cosmetics and Magic this week.  Truth be told though I just didn't have the inspiration to write about it.  One I have found that it is really hard to find anything on modern day make up and magick.  As most thing go it is one of those things that really depends on the person who is practicing that will determine how their make up is done.

What has been on my mind is Centering.  Now I don't think that I have to really go into explaining exactly what this is.  It is something I am sure most of us learn early on in the pagan path.  It is an essential tool of sorts.  At least that is what I think.  Before most rituals, tarot readings, and spell work a lot of the time we take a few minutes to sit and gather our thoughts and clear our minds.  Some even meditate on an everyday basis in the morning before they start the day and others like myself at night before going to bed.

This topic choice shouldn't really be surprising seeing as I have been having problems sleeping and it was suggested to me that I start centering myself as I lay down ready to go to sleep.  I have meditated before sure.  But really centering myself, returning all my scattered thoughts to home?  I have always had a hard time with mediation.  If there is anything that I struggle with that is calming my thoughts.  I have a hard time just quieting down.  Constantly have something on my mind which will stem a random thought which stems another, just like anyone else.  Just a long continuous chain reaction.  Before I would sit to meditate and be chanting in my head "don't think don't think don't think."  Which I know!  Is totally not the point of meditation and then I would frustrate myself knowing that chanting in my own head was not going to solve the problem which would lead to more irritation that I had lost focus.

Lol needless to say it took me some time to learn to just 'be'.  I am not even going to pretend like I have mastered that because I have not.  I know some people like to listen to calming music when they mediate and I have found this useful on very rare occasions.  Most of the time though I can't have any music in the background it really distracts me.

I think when I lay down to go to sleep at night I have such a hard time falling asleep because I don't have any activity that is focusing my attention.  Instead I am laying there in the quiet and my thoughts go everywhere all the good and the bad just comes back and plays through my mind.  I try to work out all the problems and sometimes only make it worse by picturing the worst things that could happen.

So the act of centering myself has helped the last couple of nights.  Just taking a few minutes to reel in all the scattered thoughts.  All the different mental trails I have made throughout the day just bringing them all back in.  I can't really say if I have fully accomplished this.  Since the act itself the last couple of times I have tried it have led to me falling asleep in the middle of it.  I don't really consider that a bad thing though.  In fact I prefer it to being awake all night, thoughts going a hundred miles and hour.  If just the simple exercise of pulling in my scattered bit of attention and focus relaxes me enough to fall asleep then I think it is an accomplishment.

Its going to sound funny but when laying down and doing this I visualize all this energy being pulled away from my head.  Like all these thoughts being balled up into this tight ball of energy and if I let go of it its all going to just scatter all over the place again so instead I just move it down and out of my head, down all the way until it leaves through the bottom of my feet.  Of course the thoughts aren't gone but picturing this just helps silences everything long enough for me to relax and get to sleep.

Other than that I think one of my other favorite practices to do is counting sounds.  I think that is one of the reasons I am not a fan of music playing when I meditate.  More often then not I will sit and count the sounds.  I try not to search for sounds, straining to hear the world around me, but whichever sounds manage to make there way to me I will count it.

Well that is all for today.  I hope you all had a wonderful week.  I have been pretty busy this week but that is a good thing.  Have a great weekend!  I will be working woot woot.  Will find out on Sunday if I officially have the new job or not!  =)